Marriage is a significant step and one into which most people do not tread lightly. Making the decision to marry should come after a considerable courtship in which two people get to know one another intimately and establish a common ground in terms of goals and life direction. While you can help your boyfriend prepare for marriage through communicating your desires and reassuring any fears he may have, he must feel ready to take such a step from within.
- Talk about marriage in general. Get his thoughts on the topic and gauge how he really feels about marriage. Tell him your thoughts and experiences with marriage, including whether or not you were influenced by the marriages of those close to you, such as your parents, family friends, aunts and uncles or grandparents. Get his views about other marriages in his family to see where he stands.
- Request more evenings spent at home together or doing couples activities. If he still hitting the bars with his friends, then he likely isn't yet ready for marriage. While it's fine for him to have guy's night, if he is more willing to spend time with you one-on-one doing activities conducive to couples, he may be readying himself for the next step in your relationship. Gauge his response by asking him to go to movies, spend quiet weekend nights on the couch watching movies or playing games and other fun activities you both enjoy.
- Ask him to merge certain aspects of your finances. It is important to maintain individual accounts, perhaps even after you marry, but if you already live together, there are things you can merge. Open a bank account for simple household expenses that you already pay together, such as a cable or utilities bill. This step intermingles you both even more and gets him on the track to combine the rest of your lives, as well.
- Talk about the future. Ask him where he sees himself in the future and tell him where you see yourself. Figure out if you each see yourselves in the other's future and in what capacity. By getting him to think ahead, he may realize that he wants you around years from now.
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